Triggers

We all have those moments. That twist in your gut or the twinge in your chest that signals discontent. Sadly, we’ve grown so accustomed to them, that we hardly notice when it happens and if we do, we ignore it or worse, fan the flames.

No more. It’s time to be mindful of the triggers that spark the discontent.

Certainly, we cannot remove all of the discomfort from our lives and we wouldn’t want to, really. Discomfort helps us grow, pushes us to recognize when change is needed, provides a signal that it is within our power to take action or let go.

However, when certain triggers do nothing but foment discontent or bring up feelings of jealousy, sadness, horror or despair, and there is nothing to be gained from it, we have to learn to identify these triggers and remove them from our lives. Some are as critical as avoiding an anxiety attack and others as benign as helping us ramp down a shopping habit.

Here is a practical example from my own life. I follow a lot of blogs on various topics; health and fitness, psychology, philosophy, food, humor, personal finance. One of the blogs I follow triggers my “want” button and my “envy” button. The blogger is an adorable woman who makes amazingly healthy food, but once a week she posts about fashion. Really interesting (and expensive) articles of clothing and shoes for both working out and everyday living. The issue is that I don’t want (or need) more clothes. I certainly don’t want trendy clothes and I have a slight obsession with workout clothes and dresses. I am happy with what I own, but the posts of super amazing leggings, adorable backless yoga tops and gorgeous dresses push my “want” button HARD. On top of that, the blogger has a rock solid amazing body. Again, I am quite happy with my workout routine and am content with my physique, but I’m not in my early 30s and don’t have a pre-baby stomach or delightfully round breasts. That’s ok, but it triggers discontent nonetheless. So, I stopped following that blogger. Simple.

There are other examples - removing negative news feeds from Facebook, being mindful of the shows I watch, choosing to redirect conversations that I think are not beneficial. Do you know what I discovered? After a few days, I realized that the twinges of discontent were reduced. Fewer “want” buttons triggered and a reduced number of times that I felt sad, envious or discontent. I’m not advocating sticking your head in the sand and avoiding real problems, but we create discontent where there is no benefit or need. Think of the time we can free up by eliminating those things and focusing on the things that truly matter.