A Note to Teenagers

Dear Teenagers,

When I was a kid, report card day always brought some trepidation. Not because I worried about my grades (I was a pretty good student), but because the grades that mattered most to my mom were not grades at all - they were numbers given for conduct and effort. My school used a number system to measure how we behaved and how hard we tried. My chattiness was a concern, but I also sometimes worried that the teacher would know that I hadn’t really tried that hard sometimes. Anything less than what equated to a B meant that I was in trouble.

I didn’t understand my mom’s obsession with these numbers until I got older, and then I realized that she was right. Effort and action (behavior) are everything. A few years ago, I read a book called NurtureShock, by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman. Unfortunately, I read it too late to apply it adequately to my own kids, but the authors reveal what my mom knew all along; it doesn’t really matter how “smart” you are, what matters is how hard you try or what you do with your “smarts.” Don’t let the compliments about your intelligence or talents lead to complacency. Your talents or capacity for knowledge alone are worthless unless you do something with them and doing something takes effort. Even people who seemingly have less talent or aren’t quite as smart will go further than their more intelligent peers by effort alone. If you have a knack for art, but sit on your hands and do nothing to develop it, it is for naught. If you were told as a young child how brilliant your were, do not think that capacity alone will give you success. You have to TRY. You have to take ACTION.  

The world will not hand out ribbons just for showing up. The bills won’t get paid simply because you have talent. No one is going to hand you the opportunity of your dreams without dogged perseverance.

In order to achieve the life you want, you have to work for it. It’s that simple.