Wine & Peas

Wine and Peas (maybe not together)

Today’s post is short, but oh so sweet. I am sharing with you two staples of my diet that you MUST try.

First up: frozen peas. Just the way they are. Straight from the freezer and into your mouth.

Before you dismiss me as a weirdo, let me tell you that when my guy suggested them (and told me he ate them by the cupful), I thought he was quite strange indeed. He was right - they are so very delicious, crunchy, satisfying and nutritious too!

1 serving (⅔ cp):

Calories 70

Total fat 0

Sodium 0

Cholesterol 0

Total carbohydrate 12g

Dietary fiber 4g

Sugars 5g

Protein 5g

And 45% RDA Vitamin A, 20% Vitamin C and 10% of your daily Iron.

We buy them at Costco, because Costco is THE BEST, and they have large bags of organic baby peas. (Quick story: last year, they stopped carrying them for about 3 months and I truly almost cried. Not even joking.)

My next favorite item requires more of your suspended judgement. I am certainly no wine connoisseur. I cannot tell you if this wine has a piney finish or undertones of hay, but I can tell you that it’s not too sweet, not too...unsweet (dry, maybe?), has no bad aftertaste and stays super fresh. Not only that, but the packaging is more eco-friendly than the 4 bottles it would require to hold this much wine.

And there’s a spout! Who can say no to a spout?!?!

Yes, ladies and gents, I’m talking about wine in a box. (Why did I just summon a vision of Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake? Focus, Melissa…) Not just any wine in a box though. California’s own Double Dog Dare Cabernet. This is truly delicious. Pour it away from your guests and pretend it’s expensive and fancy. I promise they’ll rave about it.

What unconventional snacks or food do you love? Share, please! I love to try new things.

A Note to Teenagers

Dear Teenagers,

When I was a kid, report card day always brought some trepidation. Not because I worried about my grades (I was a pretty good student), but because the grades that mattered most to my mom were not grades at all - they were numbers given for conduct and effort. My school used a number system to measure how we behaved and how hard we tried. My chattiness was a concern, but I also sometimes worried that the teacher would know that I hadn’t really tried that hard sometimes. Anything less than what equated to a B meant that I was in trouble.

I didn’t understand my mom’s obsession with these numbers until I got older, and then I realized that she was right. Effort and action (behavior) are everything. A few years ago, I read a book called NurtureShock, by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman. Unfortunately, I read it too late to apply it adequately to my own kids, but the authors reveal what my mom knew all along; it doesn’t really matter how “smart” you are, what matters is how hard you try or what you do with your “smarts.” Don’t let the compliments about your intelligence or talents lead to complacency. Your talents or capacity for knowledge alone are worthless unless you do something with them and doing something takes effort. Even people who seemingly have less talent or aren’t quite as smart will go further than their more intelligent peers by effort alone. If you have a knack for art, but sit on your hands and do nothing to develop it, it is for naught. If you were told as a young child how brilliant your were, do not think that capacity alone will give you success. You have to TRY. You have to take ACTION.  

The world will not hand out ribbons just for showing up. The bills won’t get paid simply because you have talent. No one is going to hand you the opportunity of your dreams without dogged perseverance.

In order to achieve the life you want, you have to work for it. It’s that simple.

The Upsides of Sensitivity

“Stop wearing your heart on your sleeve.”

“Don’t take everything to heart.”

“Why are you so touchy?”

“You need thicker skin.”

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been sensitive. Despite the sticks and stones mantra we all learned as kids, words can hurt, but they can also make a heart soar. I’m learning to reduce their impact, but it has taken a really long time, and a lot of reading, searching and understanding. I can’t watch anything that involves physical pain, not even America’s Funniest Home Videos. When I watch people get hurt (or even think about it), my stomach twists and I feel a shocking sensation along my arms that is very uncomfortable. I also have the knack for visualizing everything I hear, which can be great fun or downright terrible.

I learned from the world that being sensitive was wrong, that it was a flaw and something to be corrected. It can certainly have its downsides, but it can also have really great benefits. Being sensitive means feeling things deeply, which includes joy, fun, passion, humor, and excitement. I tend to be careful with other’s feelings and empathize easily.  I am easily amused, so I find a lot of humor in the world. The sun on my face or the smell of the forest is especially enjoyable, as is a an embrace, a song, or leaves rustling in the wind.

Despite the benefits, understanding that living with a sensitive person is not easy, I keep attempting to minimize this part of me. What I’ve come to realize though, is that no amount of effort, reading, or wishing can really change it. I can pretend for a while, but that feels exhausting. I can no more “toughen up” than I can grow another arm, so instead I am trying to control (as much as in my ability) my exposure to situations that cause unnecessary discomfort. Mostly, I’m trying not to fight nature, but to work with it as best I can.

This recent blog post was a comfort to me:

http://www.marcandangel.com/2015/07/22/10-life-changing-tips-for-highly-sensitive-people/

What traits do you have that you thought were “bad,” but have great upsides?

If you are especially sensitive, what tactics work well for you?

Running shirtless, and other acts of liberation.

For years, I have truly believed that people should not care what others think of them, within reason. We should care if we are callously hurting people’s feelings or if our actions cause harm to others, but for the most part, we should not allow anyone else’s opinions to stop us from doing what we want.

Most of us are familiar with this great saying credited to Eleanor Roosevelt, ““You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” I have truly believed it, but wasn’t always living it.

Then, I started to pay attention to my own thoughts and actions, in part because of what I was reading (see Zen, happiness and other fluff) and in part because my guy demonstrates this wonderful trait every day.  I was letting what I thought I should do stop me from an ultimate freedom - running shirtless. So what, you say? That’s not such a big deal. But ask most women if they would run shirtless and you’ll probably see a range of horrified looks. Here’s the secret that they probably won’t share though: we are afraid of being judged not by men, but by other women. We don’t want to be seen as a show-off, a trollop (yes, I’m channeling my inner Victorian woman), immodest and a whole gamut of other horrid adjectives. I also didn’t feel like the world would appreciate seeing the stretch marks etched into my stomach from housing three children.

Then one day, with some encouragement, I said, “F*ck it. It’s over 100 degrees outside and I don’t want to wear a shirt.” Sweet liberation. The world did not come to a screeching halt, no one hurled insults my way and I bet no one cared nor noticed.

This feeling of liberation stayed with me at the gym where I had previously refrained from doing an exercise that I knew was great for me - glute bridges. Google it and you’ll see why. Now, I don’t give a f*ck. Yes, I’m thrusting my hips in the air and sometimes with a metal ball nestled in my crotch. And no one gives a sh#t.

What started as acts of physical liberation have transformed much of my mindset too. It is inexplicably freeing to stop caring about what others think. Sometimes all it takes is one small act of rebellion to transform a mindset. I took my shirt off. What will be your act of rebellion?

40 Years of Awakening

On this final day of 2015, I'm sharing some realizations that I've had during my 40 years circling the sun. I wish you peace, joy and love and may you run naked through the forest, if that's your thing. :)

It’s never a mistake to jump with both feet into love and to give all the relationships of your life everything you have. Not your soul, but your effort, heart, and hope.

Changing relationships does not mean you are a failure. If you learn and grow, then there are always great things to remember, life lessons to learn and experiences that have shaped who you’ve become.

Daily wine is a good thing.

There are no such things as obligations; there are things you choose to do and things you choose not to do.

Stop “should-ing” on yourself.

Life is hard – friendships should be easy.

Alone time is required. Take it, even when you think you don’t need it.

The forest solves all problems.

Do not give up your dreams – not for anyone or anything. Modify, if you must, but do not abandon.

You are never too old to start a new career, learn a new skill, or take on a new challenge.

Tell everyone important to you how you feel. Tell your partner how you feel every day. Don’t let fear, embarrassment or pride hold you back. Take James Taylor’s advice, “shower the people you love with love.”

Laugh at everything funny, including yourself. Also, the majority of life is funny.

Compliment strangers and smile at people you meet while taking a walk. Joy is a stone in a pond and you can start a ripple effect that reaches further than you can imagine.

Eat food that is healthy and nourishing, but have a treat now and again.

Discover physical activity that makes you happy and do it often.

Love your body. It carries you through life.

Be curious about everything and don’t ever, ever be afraid to ask questions or to change your mind. Don’t be married to your opinions and be open to changing them. This is a great mark of maturity.

Read uplifting things. 

Skip the violent movies.

Sing out loud and without apology. Even if you are at a red light with the windows down and it’s a BeeGees song. Yep, that loon is probably me.

Speaking of loons - spend time in nature. A lot of time. When you have moments that bring you joy and you find something in nature that calls to you, relish it. 

Be honest with your kids. About life, parenthood and living. 

If you want to do something, do it. Don't let what anyone else thinks of you stop you. Skip down the street, run naked through the forest, record a song for YouTube, create your art, express your love. All of it. Don't wait until tomorrow. All we have is today.

Share your own nugget of wisdom below.

Friends

I have some really great friends, both near and far. The great thing about true friends is that time can go by and friends understand that life can be hectic (it happens to them too), but you are able to pick up right where you left off. Friends also understand that we all have seasons of our lives and sometimes the season is difficult. I’ve had this type of season lately, but I noticed something in myself that I’d never want my friends to feel: a need to withdraw.

I didn’t consciously withdraw from my friends, but I want to be the upbeat friend. The friend who contributes to laughter, the friend who leaves you feeling good after the interaction and I knew that I wouldn’t be this friend during this time. In addition to not wanting to burden my friends with my troubles, it’s also really hard, and a bit draining, to recount difficult events and emotions. In a way, it’s like reliving them all over again and I didn’t want my friends to feel bad, so I stayed away when I really needed them most.

Thankfully, true friends never really let you pull away for long. They reach out and you realize that you would never want them to feel that they couldn’t share their troubles with you or lean on you when you needed them. You want them to know that you are there to help them in their times of stress as much as you want to share in their times of joy. Those are the friends that are yours for life. Treasure them and tell them how much you love and appreciate them.

Print to Screen

Generally, I don’t care to see the screen version (film or television) of any books that I’ve read. Years ago, I learned what we all know; the book is ALWAYS better than the movie. Occasionally though, I’ll give one a try, especially if it’s a book that one of my kids has read as well. For instance, the movie based on The Fault in our Stars by John Green was well done. I still think it lost some of the edge that they book had, but overall, it was not disappointing. The best part of the experience was sharing it with my daughter and comparing book to screen.

Recently, two books that I really enjoyed were made into movies - Wild by Cheryl Strayed and A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson. I decided to give Wild a shot, since I thought the scenery would be amazing and I really like Reese Witherspoon. I made it 10 minutes into the movie before giving up. There is just too much internal dialogue for it to translate well. If you’ve watched the movie and enjoyed it, read the the book. It is, of course, much better. I won’t even attempt to defile A Walk in the Woods - I’ll stick with the book version.

Now I will share one major exception. You must, must, must watch the Outlander series based on the books by Diana Gabaldon. They are amazingly done. I won’t say that they’re as good as the books, but they are so good in their own right. From the actors selected to play the characters, to the scenery, to the raw (and perfect) translation of deep heartache, wild passion and all feelings in between, this series brings the books to life in vivid detail. Gentlemen, you would truly enjoy the book series, but chances are it is the lady in your life that has read them. Do yourself a favor and watch the series together. I recommend watching it without distraction (read no kids around) and on comfortable furniture. You’ll thank me later.

What movie/show based on a book did you really enjoy?

Have you read & watched Outlander? What did you think?